We’ve asked a mum of one of our families at Dundonald Church to write a blog about what life is like for her and her family in lockdown
#4 – 07/05/2020 – Anxiety and Uncertainty
Last weekend was supposed to be Dad’s Camping for our younger two, so they were keen to put up our tent and have a sleepout in the garden! Not quite as exciting as being with everyone else from church at Otford Manor, but they had fun, despite waking up cold at 5am. They were pretty tired the next day!
Anxiety over whats to come…
It feels like we’ve settled down into a predictable routine now…. just in time for things to change again! I’m keen to hear how the government plans to transition out of lock down but I’m anxious too. Anxiety has often been a struggle for me, but currently I’m finding it’s mostly at a subconscious level – just kind of background anxiety that I’m not really thinking about very much.
It’s affected me mainly when going to the supermarket, which was a surprise to me as normally I quite enjoy food shopping! (Very exciting to find flour the last 2 weeks!) I think I was just absorbing the general sense of unease and tension that’s there with queues to get in, and then trying to stay 2 metres apart while finding what I need. And I’ve stopped listening to talk radio in the car because that was feeding my anxious thoughts in an unhelpful way.
My previous experiences with more pronounced anxiety tell me that it would be much better to dig in and find out what exactly I’m worrying about, and to tell my heavenly Father about it, rather than letting it rumble on and come out in irritability.
The children are coping well for now…
We’re really thankful that our children have been coping well – they have regular zoom chats with friends, and for the most part seem content. They are all doing the kids and youth bible studies with friends on Zoom, and that’s been encouraging. So thankful for those friendships they’re developing. But they are asking when they will go back to school, and I wonder how that uncertainty is affecting them too.
‘its easier to believe the lie that says we’re in control when everything’s ticking along as it normally does’
I don’t like uncertainty, because I mistakenly think I’m in control of my life. Actually I’m no more in control now than I was before coronavirus, but it’s easier to believe the lie that says we’re in control when everything’s ticking along as it normally does.
I’m trying to remember that the Lord is in control and that he’s a good Shepherd– he knows what the future holds because he’s planned it and we are not on our own. We’re being forced to live more conscious of our dependence on the Lord, and that’s a good thing.
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